Mind

The most strange part in human.... mind..

Inspiration

"People who want to get inspired will always get inspired.. problem is the people who dont want to get inspired"

Freedom

What is it ?why is it required ? whats the need? how is it necessary?

these are some of the thoughts that zips across my mind when i think about freedom.

to trace back . my freedom was even i came into this world, by breaking the umbilical cord, that was my first freedom.

again this freedom was snatched by the society and imposing its various facades on to me. the education, family , friends , job etc. i was already in this chain, getting a job and standing on once's own feet was the next freedom , this gave me a tool to virtually talk

Essense of Dharma

Important week

Coming week  10-June will be a interesting due to the multiple meeting which will decide our course of action @ PiChain Innovations

Strategically , this will decide the future course of action.

Coming back to Life

“Life's not about how hard of a hit you can give... it's about how many you can take, and still keep moving forward.” ― Sylvester Stallone, Rocky Balboa

Its been a while since i wrote a blog about myself or the situations am going through. 2015 has been particularly a demanding year for me. emotionally draining, physically damaging. low of lows.

2015 started with a lot of hope even though i knew that its not going to stay forever. but i had to take the chance for the sake of my child.

my health was deteriorating with each passing day with all negative emotions and gazing for the light at the end of  the tunnel which was never meant to be. i had to make my choices which i did leaving my family , my place to relocate to a different place just to keep my family intact.i was going insane and at times i was cursing myself as to why i did all these  but yeah its history and i moved on . my confidence was at its lowest level. but self-esteem was hurt and pretty badly.

i had imagined that my choices would make my life better , good and happier. but it was not case. after we moved to a new places. the conflicts with my wife was regular. she didnt trust me one bit.even action of mine was judged and confronted. i accepted it all to keep my marriage intact and to adhere to the social standards. things were going out of hand , she gave me nightmares..

My Experiment with Truth : 100 hours of Meditation

i have been thinking about writing a blog for almost 5 years now but somehow dint materialize. my honest attempt this time to capture probably the most fascinating experience of my life.

this blog is about my experience of vipassana meditation camp which just concluded , my memories are still fresh to capture the moments.

this was my second time to vipassana meditation camp in  last one year. unlike the first time this time i knew what i was getting into . the tough conditions and restrictions which puts the mind and body to test.
physical restrictions, mental restrictions it was all part of it.

Vipassana is about following 3 aspects of dhamma (universal law) which was found by gautama buddha 25 centuries ago. the 3 aspects are Sila ( refrain from stealing, lieing , killing and prostitution) , Samadhi ( focus the mind ) and Panya ( purifying the mind)

what makes vipassana challenging is the rules which needs to followed to discipline the mind and the body.

nobile silence for 10 days durations. no phones, no whatsapp, no youtube, no facebook., no tv, no talking with others. not supposed to read books or write down thoughts.

if these were not enough add 12 hours of meditation every day for 10 days and being the 2nd time student i was not supposed to consume food after 12pm.

the day starts with volunteers waking u up with a bell at 4 in the morning ( yes u heard it right)
and day could close at 9:30 in the night.

add to it the intense summer heat in this place of tamilnadu. with all these precursor let me jump into my experience.

Dhamma Arunachala meditation hall

Dhamma Arunachala campus

day 1 to day 3 was anapana - the art of controlling one's mind using breath. yes. bare breath nothing else. breath has a beautiful characteristics: it connects the outside world to the inside. its conscious when we concentrate and it works unconsciously when we dont concentrate on it.

my mind was wondering sometimes cursing why did i come to this course. mind was going mad , but slowly and steadily it was coming to terms with the reality and the watching the breath definitely helped to pacify the mind.

from day 4 vipassana starts which is purifying one's own mind. the experience with vipassana was just too exciting time.

meditation sitting tested my patience and i had a lot of different experience. one day i was thinking that body pain ( especially knees)  is due to the stress factor. i was thinking that since the body weight is on it, the stress points keeps changing. my mind started putting blame on body , the surrounding ..never ever taking the responsibility.

other day i experienced state were it was absolute peace .i was feeling light and taught as tho i was away from body and mind.

i experienced my casual body moving even though my body was still.. it dint have any rules of gravity. i felt as though i was floating.

but the icing on the cake was this revelation: the understanding of mind-matter relationship and it was moment of truth.

wow.. was my reaction.. i know that it was the truth.

in between intense meditation session.. the pain in the knees is unbearable , i was tempted to open up my crossed legs but the adittana ( strong determination) vow i had taken just wouldn't allow me to do so.

i closely started watching the pain: here it was: the body( matter) was passing signals of different sensation. vibrating, pulsating.heat,pressure etc.. to the mind and the mind was decrypting this sensation as pain.

viola.. that was the moment i realized it was the mind which was main reason for pain , agony , ecstasy, joy the body had no way to know it. the body is entity made out of earth, water. fire and air. and it has no way to know the pain or pleasure.
it is the mind which reacts to the sensations (vedana) based on the 5 senses inputs ( vignana) and associates it to the pain or pleasure which causes attachment or aversion which i turn causes misery/suffering.

this was the basic principle of Dhamma.

this was buddha realization which he explored and enlightened lakhs of people.. following is the snippet from the buddha teaching.

Through deep insight, the Buddha discovered that the crucial link is vedana ( sensations). In the anuloma-paticcasamuppada, he says "vedana-paccaya tanha'' (with the base of sensation, craving and aversion arise). Vedana is the cause of tanha, which gives rise to dukkha. In order to remove the cause of dukkha or tanha; therefore, one must not allow vedana to connect with tanha; in other words, one must practise Vipassana meditation at this juncture so that avijja becomes vijjaor panna (wisdom). One has to observe vedana, to experience and to comprehend the truth of its arising and passing away, i.e., anicca.

Once i realized it. it started becoming clear that i need to be aware of the sensations and its state of impermanence (anicca) and with the equanimous mind the tanha is gone with that the sankaras of craving or aversion is also gone.i realized this truth and it was true. my pain started to reduce. it was magical.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also mind became much more aware and equanimous and pain reduced.my understanding of mind-matter is better now. 

even though i have questions about rebirth/incarnation am much more at peace with myself understanding very well the law of impermanence "anicca" which is universal.

beautiful campus of dhama-arunachala

Dhamma (universal truth) has started in me. lets see where this self-discovery takes me to.....

Simple

sometimes we complicate matter beyond what is required.

when a girl /guy ditches you, all you have to do is to have a beer and party and checkout the next in line. but there is a tendency to go back think , analyse , feel desperate, sound horrible and beat up oneself.

even at workplace , when there is no hike , no appreciation, no challenges all you have to do is to throw the paper on the table and walk away, instead of feeling helpless and getting annoyed with the entire world

People don't take vacation and reasons they give is that they have a kid to take care off, loads of work and all routine stuffs and they are happy about it , not here to preach them the value of happiness. but the point is that you should be able to do things whenever you feel like. thats freedom thats called living.

People complicate life beyond the scope of life itself and feel frustrated about it but still stay with it ,as though there are no options at all. as tho' its the end of road.

all i say is , dude .. keep it simple , take it easy, take simple decisions and make right moves.

Split Personality Disorder

seems like there are 2 personalities.. (well just realized there are more ) in me which just appears every now and then.

One is a quiet , dedicated techi who doesnt want to interact with humans at all and all he wants to do is sit and code, learn new technologies , its seems like a perfect world in which there are only technical aspects, its interesting , its logical, its been well thought about.

the Other personality is completely opposite which puts humans a step over the machines ( read as technologies) , which thinks that human "being" is unparalled and wants to understand the social aspects , technical aspects of the mind. it doesnt want to sit in a corner and be a dumb ass . it wants to interact with a lot of people , understand or rather try to understand them.

in this struggle of this two personalities , there is another personality that has opened up itself. its a referee or a police which just inspects the situation and allows one or the other personality to experiance itself.

while doing so there is another childish personality which just says to stop bothering about all the shit inside and around and wants to freak out , party like mad, live off the edge stop thinking about the future.

well, here am trying to balance all my different part of me and trying to balance myself with all the choas here and now :)

Rush of Blood

Should everybody think, act, behave in a stereotyped manner all the time?

Rather its too late for me to comment on the Shiney Ahoja’s case , just that am too lazy to write a blog.

But the point remains is that why should a person be categorized by one act he has done.

Isnt it human to commit a mistake. We do it all the time , shouldn’t the society be a little logical and more forgiving.

Not considering anybody but myself , my mind doesn’t behave the same way all the time.its just too erratic at times, illogical , coming under the cloud of illusion, confusions.

Blame the hormones, blame the stress factor , blame the excitement but the fact remains is that we are perhaps just humans to feel all these thoughts which are bound to be not matching the society and its stereotype ways.

Its strange that the same society which accepts the momentary success just overall rejects the person by this momentary act of failure.

Wat else do i say it’s a just normal , just humane or rather its just Rush of Blood.

In the fearless world.

Huh.. I must be craziest ass in the world to keep a blog title like this one.

In the age of terrorism , infectious diseases, spreading virus , economic downturn, recession , changing lifestyle, corrupt government , greedy politicians we live.

Well. Yes we do.. that’s a great achievement by itself,we live in a society where people get shit shared to talk to people. Thinking they might be infected with viral fevers.

What happened to all the sugary society strongholds like compassion, affection, coordination, cooperation, love , friendship, security.

It all seems like its in people words but not in reality. atleast not now when ur scared to meet ur friend who has arrived back .Ur scared to go to a hospital to see ur so called “loved ones” .

Reason.. u might be affected by the virus. U might fall ill , may be u might even die..!

Is death so powerful that It reduces people emotions to nothing, may be then it is the best force then.

This is the world , where ppl change let alone the people who want change the world.

We live in a world where death prevails not life.

We live in a world where people are selfish and “compassionate” at the same time.

We live in fear but not in the state of ecstasy.

Welcome to this world . this society… where virus rules not life..!

Memories

“The power of retaining and recalling past experience”

Why is that the memories generally haunt people rather than supporting them?

How many people remember the good things that has happened to them? how many curse their past memories?

Science simply says that it’s just the data in the system technically a history data which can be used for data analysis and interpretation.

But there is a aspect of the memory which is more psychological than being just termed and bundled as a data. This is a way the people develops their own beliefs, their thought processes.

Memories are the way people remain sane in this insane world.

Or in the movie “momento” the hero terms that memories can be altered and modified but not the facts. May be memories is too subjective to make of any sense to a third person.
It is the memory that makes us feel special .may be someone has really touched u in some ways that even u don’t know.

What happens if there is no experience , no experiencer no memories. Will this world be a better place.

Seems my thoughts are too much jumbled at this point of time.

Déjà vu

"is the experience of feeling sure that one has witnessed or experienced a new situation previously (an individual feels as though an event has already happened or has happened in the near past) "

"do u like me ?" she asked
" offcourse i like you !! thats why ur my best friend" he said.
"so do u have any other feelings for me " she asked.

This question was the point when it seemed to him that the entire cycle of life has repeated itself and he is in a situation he was never in but this was situation he was in as well.Interestingly getting confused with himself. he started to think about the exact situation ,it was difficult for him to concentrate on the current question asked by her.

it was crazy that some time back the exact scenario happened but he was asking questions rather than taking them , he started to remember the exact reply he got and he was pretty much sure that he is going to reply to the current context in the same way.

some devajua's gets mind confused but this one actually clarified long pending questions he had in mind and the way other person would have thought at that point of time and the way he felt at that point. the past and present were meeting eachother.

it was as tho his mind rewinded itself and it was giving answers to tough questions he was never able to answer or ask neone.. its amazing how life puts on in a situation to get answers that u always wanted to know.

Life sometimes blindfolds you and throws u in water and then after some time it opens the eyes and then shows up the reality.

but now the circumstances have changed and he was supposed to respond to her , but the point was that he got answer to the Questions asked by himself sometime back !!!!.

and he responded the same answer that he got sometime back fully understanding whats the answer was and how it would be taken by her...........................................

The Truth

"Always there is a right side of a argument and a true side as well"

Its strange how human mind thinks and acts , ways it can intreprete the same situation in several different ways.

i was talking to some people at a meeting at 2 different instances, i was wondering how the same point was tweaked so that one becomes the protagonist of the plot. It was amazing for me to hear the same story in 2 different view points and both of them sounded perfectly logical.Their was a small twist tho', the protagonist of one story was the anti-hero in the other version.

This may seem trivial for most but this illustrates the most important aspect of the mind. Its bent upon proving itself that its the best. The Ego embedded in itself always thinks about itself and reminds itself that the truth is that its version is perfect and always will remain so !

Simple example , if there was a marriage photo album or any other album for that matter , we will be seeing ourselves first even if we are in the background and not worry too much abt the others even if its the bride or groom.

whatever may be the reason, its the selfish and self loving attitude that makes the man to respect others so that we gets the respect to himself which in turn boasts his self image and there by his EGO.


Neways the point is that there is nothing called the absolute truth , it will be subjective and will continue to remain so...................................

Live Life

“ Whats the point in living this life? Is there meaning at all in living life ? “ these are questions which everyone have thought in some point of their life.

Belive me these are tougher questions.. even the greats didn’t answer, if at all they answered, it was either to satisfy their followers or bolster up their ego.

If u ask a bachelor , he’ll say “ macha, I just want to njoy life daa… I don’t care , I don’t bother about responsibilities, all I want to do is have lots of money and girls around.. that’s it “

Ask the same Question to a married man.. “ I live for my wife and children, I want to see them happy and satisfied.. I want to see my child growing up , getting a nice degree.. seeing them get married and settled” will be his answer..

But folks just think ..are we here to just to make money , flirt with girls , work for wife , work for children, take care of ailing parents..??

Yeah.. these upto a certain extent gives a little meaning to life .. but if u see in a overall perspective does it?

What happens if u die now.. do u think all the dependents will also die with u… wont they live their life…? Yaa.. 1 day .. 1 week .. 1 month .. 1 year… things will gradually change and they would get used to the reality and things will happen as it used to happen..

Am illustrating this fact to make u understand .. u shouldn’t think life will stop without you.. which in turn means you should not burden urselves with all these problems and think that you are warriors and saviours .
This clearly illustrates that these things are not the one which gives meaning to our life..

Then wat is it that gives meaning to this life.. ?

Yoga teaches us to concentrate and meditate .. the idea of meditation as all of u know is to increase the concentration and focus on the present..

Why should we focus on the present… it is to experience .. yes.. experience this current state of our being…

It is the experience that will give meaning to this life…go out .. do watever u feel like… experience..do watever u always want to do … take out this burden from ur back and learn to njoy the nature, kid’s smile , puppy playing on the street .bcoz it is that which will make you content..

Remember.. The only person who can give meaning to ur life is U .. none other…so “Live Life” on ur own terms..

Super Bitches

“ She is the greatest bitch the world had ever seen “

Crazy it sounds but this is how the best bitch is picked in a program called Bitch Diaries on [V]

And belive u me.. the greatest bitch on the given day was happy ;)

I bet the girls are happier being a simple and plain bitch.

On the other day I watched this movie called “WoodStock Villa” , the heroine was a bomb and offcourse a super bitch in the movie…She thinks she is too damn smart and tries to fool around men .. she thinks shez successful in doing so , but the hero of the movie outsmarts her in the nth moment… movie was a shit but I liked the last scene..
Its so typical of the girls to act smart forgetting the fact that men can outsmart them on any given day!!!

But why am I talking all this shit about girls…knowing very well that almost 60% of my blog audience are females ;)

All Feminist folks , please read ahead .. anyways u r gonna screw me, why not read fully and then scold me ;)

I have heard girls saying that all men are same … I agree .. if gals are bitches whats wrong with guys becoming dogs...point rt ?

Am not being judgemental about gals just that these are my plain opinions sometimes .

Gals generally tend to be oppurtunists, looking out for best options around always.. which in not all false … its good but my point why all hungaama when men do the same…?

Pls don’t think that I don’t have any regards for gals… I rate bitches and prostitutes slightly higher than the GodMans around .. that’s the different topic which we’ll talk in someother post.

Just few random thoughts .. I actually don’t bother if it hurts someone..am sure it wont ;)

The Touch

“ Hey…………. Where are you going…? Don’t u have any manners or patience. How can you leave a gal in this place and go? “

Her hands outreached towards him... Given a chance he would leave her there and move forward . this is after the bitter experience he had with girls. He hated girls from bottom of his heart… period.

He had no option but to hold her and take her along. He felt for her , Her hand so delicate, her feel so unique.

“ Why should girls be dependent on guys , why cant they be normal and independent “ he taught.

“ How can a stranger till yday can order me where to go , how to proceed. Where to halt , where to see “ lost in the thought , he could have easily told her to mind her own business.But he was not able to . her innocent face .. her lit up clear eyes didn’t allow him to say that.

Suddenly there was a rainfall and she was feeling cold, they went inside a bush.. She fitted her fingers into his fingers and made herself warm.He had to keep all his emotions under check since she was innocent and didn’t know what she was doing . He managed to act sane , by then by gods grace rain stopped and he was relived to have come of that tough situation.

After that he managed to stay away from her, but he would not forget “The Touch”

Junoon - the Obsession

There were two related experiences this week , that lead me to write this blog.

While watching the first match of IPL between Royal chalengers Bangalore and Knight Riders Kolkata , I somehow found myself supporting Bangalore. I was critising any shot played by the kolkata players and praising the bangalore boys for no reason.
The player whom I used to admire the most Sourav ganguly suddenly was on the opposite side and I wanted him to get out .
I was obsessed with Bangalore and felt crasily mad when they hopelessly lost the match.

Is that bcoz Bangalore lost .. nop.. its bcoz the “I” lost , my ego lost…

Other day I went for a movie called “U me aur hum” , ajay devgan the protagonist says that our body works in “ self defense mechanism” which means that our ego or the so called “I” will drive you in crunch situations no matter what you think.
This says that when mother is drowning with her child , she will try to save her child till the nth moment. But in the end she will try to save herself by drowning the child.

What I meant here is to say that every part of us is selfish. We are all obsessed with ourselves. But we portray the picture that we are selfless, nature friendly, compassinate.

Assume the case where ur hand is poisoned and have to ampute it to save u from dying, you will do it since we are by nature selfish!!!!!

So why should we act saying that we are saints , gods, etc. etc..
I think all these words are bullshit… period.

It would be better to accept that we are animals and start living a truthful life , lets break this duality we have in us, lets show our true self to the world , atleast we would be one with the nature and not hopelessly out of it.

So its ok to be selfish, self centered.. bcoz that’s the way we have been designed, let the nature take control , let us not dictate terms to the nature by saying that we are the most precious species of this planet..

Lets accept this fact … half of our problem will be fixed, half of the solution will be known.
Lets accept that we are afterall animals and we are shamelessly obsessed with ourselves.

Surprise Surprise!

“Hey , Am getting married .. “ She said.

“That’s amazing , when is the marriage?” he asked.

“ We havent decided on the date , will inform you once confirmed , please try to make it for the marriage” she replied.

He was very happy to hear this, or was he? After all he heared all this from somone who he had loved .. not to be mistaken it was not the other way round.

His Memories went back to those days when she was the Queen of his hearts.

Her first day in the company,“Hats off to the creator, she is a absolute beauty, oh man!! is this first love!!!” “ he thought .
She was too beautiful, too delicate, but yet so strong from within.
She seem to have so many flaws but she was looked determined to face the odds.

He was never behind any girl till that point , but this was the moment , some asshole had talked about first love and all nonsense, but he never belived in it. but now its happening , he was falling in love with the girl he is seeing for the first time in his life.

Then lots of thoughts came rushing by to his head.. “how do I approach, how do I talk to her, how do I impress her, how do I show myself as special to her” questions hovered in his head.

She was put in to a different project, the task got much tougher for him.
But he was determined to impress her, he made use of very minute chance to talk to her, to make her laugh. after all the hardwork they became good friends … one day god Shovered his bliss and she was in his project.. he was over the moon, dreaming about her in the night, chatting with her in office hours.

All good things comes to a end, or atleast thats wat the fucker called fate had in store for him. One fine day he saw her talking to someone else , his heart broke or did it ?? after all ….all the one sided affairs should end in only one way……...

He moved away from her life from that point and never wanted to bother her.. infact he didn’t even want to know that he loved her.

But God had different plans. she moved to the same company as his but this time she was nursing her heart .he became her good friend again.. this time a real friend who wanted to see her happy without any selfish cause. She regained herself and he was happy.

He regained back his consious from the memories.

It was the valentines day.. and he got a special gift on his mailbox ……”her Marriage invitation. “

The Model in Me.